(1). Katze

More than 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with Scleroderma, an incurable autoimmune disease. At the beginning, the doctors believed that steroids and other medications can control the disease as I was still young. However, my condition got worse and in just a few years’ time, my skin, muscles, blood veins, internal organs like heart, lungs, kidneys and liver got fibrosis. Not only that I can hardly move, the doctors gave me only three to six months to live and told my family to prepare for the worst. They wanted to send me to a special hospital to try some very strong medicines, which had only 50% successful rate because the drugs were still on testing stage. That means, I could die anyways with or without drugs. I decided to just go home and spend the rest of my days with my family. I wanted to live at all cost, not for myself but for my family.

I was glad to be home, but the pain was unbearable. I cried everyday as I had lost my freedom of mobility. I could not move. I was hungry but couldn’t swallow. I couldn’t go to toilet, couldn’t even roll in bed. My husband and I did not have any intimacy anymore. I had lost my ability to walk. I couldn’t do anything.

We were running a café at that time and because I was sick, my husband needed to stay home, taking care of me and our children, we were unable to continue the business anymore . We went bankrupt. I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I prayed to the Buddha and asked the gods to either take my life or give me a chance to live with good health. Miraculously, my prayers were answered.